And we’re back! I’m Sue Ridge, and this is my co-host Shannon Gardiner. We’re excited to announce that we’re just moments away from the beginning of Melbourne’s Annual Drain Unblocking Competition! I’m almost shaking with anticipation, Shannon! How are you feeling?

Oh, Sue! I can hardly contain myself. I can’t wait to see which of these hunks is going to channel their inner-plumber – remember they aren’t allowed to actually be plumbers to enter the competition – and completely tear apart the competition! Like I said before the break, my money’s on Heath. I could watch him do drain repairs in the Brighton area, or any suburb for that matter, all day!

Great analysis, Shannon. It really is an exciting time. It’s time that we’re quiet now though, the twelve contestants are stepping up to their blocked drains. Just like every other year, they get ten minutes to assess the situation before they start doing any unclogging or unblocking. There’s always a couple of contestants who go early and get confused midway through because they didn’t give it enough forethought. I wonder who that’ll be this year. Let’s see.

Oh no! Not Heath! I can’t believe it. He looked at his blocked drain for about a second and now he’s reaching for a crowbar. Doesn’t he know that if you’re doing a drain replacement near Melbourne, a crowbar isn’t the best tool for the job?! I’m legally not allowed to say what the best tool is in case one of the contestants overhears me and gets a competitive advantage over the other contestants. But I can tell the audience watching that a crowbar is not the best place to start.

Shannon! You’re not even allowed to say that! We’re supposed to comment on what’s happening, not offer any of our own opinions. Just because it’s Heath that has jumped the gun early doesn’t give you any right to go off script. Now, let’s go back to the action… I see that Darren has started off well. Okay, we’ll be quiet now while the action happens.