Intense Clown Party Stress!

Bentleigh East indoor play centresThis is where I come to recover. This café is my only sanctuary, or rather…it feels that way sometimes. Not that I hate my job or anything, but I DO need places to recharge. Children, seriously. Children are wonderful gifts who bring so much joy, and so, SO very much exhaustion. In some ways I think I have it even harder than parents, because I’m the one they call on when they want their kids to be entertained. Throw in the fact that apparently clowns are a dying breed and you have the perfect storm of feeling underappreciated and stressed out, every day.

The job comes with perks, sure. Kids are great, when they’re behaving and not trying to pull your nose off. I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of indoor play centres. Canberra, Strathclide, Bentleigh…I’m basically the go-to person in my group of friends for intel on how to keep your kids happy and entertained, especially if that place also offers tea, coffee and a sit-down. I guess that’s the good thing about play centres. You can let your kids run loose and they make their own entertainment while you supervise. Some parents don’t even do that much, to be honest…

I’ve seen a lot, as a clown. I’ve had parents who drop off their kids and just leave me with the lot of them, as if their duties as parents are official over the moment I walk in the room. Um, no. I dress up and entertain the children I’m not a legal guardian! Balloon animal creation skills do not qualify someone for a parenthood, unfortunately. Although my future kids will probably love them. And then there are the parents who do nothing to stop the children kicking me and trying to set fire to my wig.

So I need this place. Here I’m not a clown, dashing around Bentleigh East indoor play centres and pouring out my energy in song and dance. Here I’m just ordinary Joe, enjoying a good coffee and not talking to anyone. The best.


The Raddest Ice Skating Rink Around

ice skating party MelbourneI really like the music in here. Sort of sounds like something that plays in your head while you’re walking around an Italian vineyard or something. It sets the tone for some light conversation, or even if you just want to come in here and chill, enjoy the atmosphere…which is what I’m doing. It’s good to get out of the house, even if you technically work from home.

It beats my original idea for the place when it was just a shambling ruin. And my idea was pretty great, so…yeah, kudos to Johnny. Oh, you want to hear my idea? Well, I wanted it to be an ice skating rink, possibly one of Melbourne’s finest. But not just any ice skating rink, with boring old ice and maybe some arcade games around the corner. Nope, I wanted an ice skating PARTY rink, complete with 24/7 disco lights, hired entertainers and some pumping beats!! Yeah, I know it’s not exactly the biggest place in the world…decent size for a cafe but not for an actual ice-skating place. Well, that would’ve been part of the charm! It would’ve been a small, private space for party hijinks, with the twist being that the floor was made of ice. If you wanted some punch or finger food, you’d slide your way over there. If you wanted to dance, you’d have to do it with skates attached to your feet. All the entertainers would’ve been qualified ice skating instructors for any party guests who needed to brush up on their technique. Basically, we’re talking about Melbourne’s most innovative party space since that Winter Wonderland blow-up theme park, but that thing travels around so whatever, am I right? This place would’ve been all Melbourne. Function rooms, private venues, so many extensions…maybe I let my imagination run away with me, but I still think it would’ve been great. Ah well…next time. And I have a cafe to hang out in during my brainstorming sessions!