Who would have thought that I’d be here – stranded on the side of a dirt road in semi-rural NSW and wondering if perhaps I would like to live in this neck of the woods? As someone born and raised in the big smoke, I’ve always thought of myself as a city slicker, and yet something’s come over me… maybe I’ve inhaled some weird fumes. There is a fair bit of exhaust smoke pouring out of my car right now, so I wouldn’t rule that out.
Not there aren’t weird fumes aplenty in the city. That’s one point in favour of country life: the air is so much cleaner. At least, it is when you’re not standing next to a smoking car. Then there’s the quiet. I didn’t realise a road could be this quiet. Granted, I’ve noticed that when a car does come by, it tends to really barrel along with an almighty roar and maybe a bit of a skidding sound for good measure. But there’s no constant ‘bip bip bip’ of traffic lights or trains or sirens – just a magpie cawing nearby and the occasional engine revving.
So, what am I doing out here? Well, like I said, my car’s a bit of wreck right now, so I’m waiting to hear back from a mechanic near Queanbeyan. That’s the closest big town to where I’ve broken down. I’m hoping the shop can send someone out here. Actually, I’m hoping they have to tow my ride into town and spend some time working on it, running engine diagnostics or whatnot.
That would give me an opportunity to have a gander at the local real estate. I’m just curious. I mean, would it be so bad to live out here? Lower house prices, space for days, and… I don’t know, presumably some other stuff I can’t think of right now. There’s got to be loads of pros for the list, I reckon, and city life has plenty of cons.
Am I trying to talk myself into this? Or just trying the idea on for size?
I’m the type of guy who doesn’t need anything from anyone, you know? 100% self-sufficiency: that’s the name of my game, and if you don’t like it, that’s not my problem. That’s the thing, right? I don’t need anything from you, and you don’t get anything from me – no favours, no validation and most importantly none of my precious time. I need all of it to devote to my one true love.
That would be my truck, also known as my my one and only. Some people probably think I’m a bit funny in the head, thinking of a hunk of old metal in this way. But like I said, I don’t need anyone’s approval. Besides, it’s not anything weird. It’s just my way of expressing how much I freaking love this truck.
The one exception to my self-sufficiency protocol is when it comes to advice on maintaining the truck, and for that I refer to my mechanic. Around Bentleigh, where I live, there’s a handful of pretty good auto shops, and I’ve checked them all out. None of them stack up to my go-to guy, though. He’s a fully qualified technician but he works out his back shed. I guess he’s a bit of renegade, like me.
A few months back I went for a brake repair near Moorabbin, at one of these other local workshops. They did a perfectly good job – nothing to complain about at all, as far as the work was concerned. The price was okay, too. But something was just… off. I can’t even put my finger on what it was, but I’m sure it had to do with the personality of the technicians.
I think it’s that, if I’m going to go to someone for help, I need them to be on my wavelength – sympatico, you know? I can just feel it in the way the truck handles when it’s been worked on by this one dude.
It’s…beautiful. There are no other words for it. I walked into the kitchen today fully-prepared, but I couldn’t have prepared myself for something quite this good. And you can trust me on this, because I’ve had six children and none of them got this reaction out of me.
The kitchen is now a REAL kitchen. It’s even bigger than my one at home, and a lot more industrial, so I cannot WAIT to get started on cooking! We have an industrial-strength oven, and industrial-strength dishwasher…it’s all so powerful, sleek and shiny. And to think, this all came about via an anonymous donation.
Obviously, designer kitchen renovations were the first thing we thought of. Or rather, I…uh, forcefully stated that it was something we needed a bit more than the balcony. Now it almost looks a bit comical, this homely cafe with a relaxed vibe, and then you step into the kitchen and it’s like you’ve walked into the back of a three hatted restaurant. Quite the contrast, but I’m glad we chose the option!
And it’s what the mysterious person would’ve wanted, I think. They left a message with their anonymous donation saying that with the cafe being such a lovely place in the middle of nowhere, a meeting place for many, and also with Johnny having to deal with the whole abandoned child business, they wanted to give something back. So it’s probably a regular, but almost everyone is a regular, so that doesn’t help much. But if they DO come to the cafe, then they’ll want the most magnificent kitchen design Melbourne residents have ever laid their eyes on. The better the kitchen, the more plentiful and wonderful the goods flowing from it. No doubt my pastries, cakes and cookies will be twice as good now that our kitchen extensions have made things so much better. Well…maybe. It’s hard to improve on perfection, but miracles do happen.
Last week in the cafe, I met the most fascinating guy. He was tall with mysterious swarthy features and an elegant black outfit. I served him some coffee and noticed that he was studying IT at the local college. Now I’m a total geek so I found this really impressive. It was basically love at first site.
Naturally, I had to find an excuse to talk to him so I told him that I was interested in taking the same video game design course in Melbourne. He humoured me politely but I think he knew what was going on.He said that the course is really good and especially for getting jobs in the industry after graduation. I asked him if there were many girls in the college because it’s a tech college and he said that there were a few and that the numbers were increasing so that I wouldn’t feel left out. He was such a witty and charming character, with every word i just grew more and more entranced by him. While he was probably getting more and more annoyed….
The next week yet another handsome devil entered the cafe. Once again, I started making small talk and chit chat. This guy was also amiable and then revealed that he was actually taking an app design course. I couldn’t believe it. I asked him if he knew the guy that I spoke to the other day but he didn’t.
That was when I reached the conclusion that all guys that study game design and development and related fields must all be babes. I decided that I’m going to enroll in the IT industry. Hopefully I’ll get to keep my job as a waitress at this cafe. My boss had a word with me the other day because I keep trying to “pick up” all the customers.