I was recently at Johnny’s cafe having a coffee with my ex-boss. We have made a real effort to stay in touch as we got along so well when we worked together all those years ago. He suggested Johnny’s cafe as it is a favourite of his and conveniently located right by my new place. I am so glad we ended up going there because the coffee was unbelievable and I had one of the best muffins of my life; glazed apricot and chocolate! The only thing that put a little dampener on the experience was this awful woman sitting next to us who was having obnoxiously loud telephone conversations about her blocked drains in Melbourne. Apparently she has been dealing with various plumbers for days trying to get her blocked drains cleared and she hasn’t found any plumber local to her. You might ask how I know so much but honestly everyone in Johnny’s cafe that day now knows the entire story of this woman and her blocked pipes. She thinks it was her grandchildren when they came round to play, apparently they were playing with clay outside and started stuffing it down the drains. I almost got to the point of asking her where she lived so I could find her a local Melbourne plumber and she could finally be done with it. I always marvel at how people seem to lack awareness of their surroundings, it was obvious she was disturbing the entire cafe, or at least it was obvious to everyone that wasn’t her! Eventually Charles and I managed to find a seat outside so we weren’t disturbed by her but almost as if she was intentionally annoying us she came outside to have a cigarette while she finished her seventh phone call, and stood right next to us!